yea...another hour of restlessness.

This music is starting to take a toll on me. I'm trying not to get depressed about it, but I don't know if its working at all. I feel a little stiffled. My body hurts. My heart hurts. My soul hurts.

I feel so stressed. I'm trying not to feel completely overwhelmed by life but life seems to be winning. There are times that I want to scream and absolutely nothing comes out. My eyes keep crying without my permission. Sleep is such a chore.

It doesn't make me feel any better about any situation/disagreement when you conceed and cry failure. It makes me feel like I failed you, like I failed us. Atleast I don't feel like throwing myself in front of a moving vehicle.

**sidebar: I feel like ur afraid 2 invade my space. If I don't want you there I'll let you know. Take the initiative to be closer to me...touch goes a very long way in any misunderstanding...it shortens the miles between us.**

If I felt like throwing up would help to relieve this feeling of discouragement I probably would. But I'm not sure of it so I think I'll pass for now.

I wrote this...

....the day after you wrote you're very long post. I haven't finished it for one reason or another but I decided that you should atleast have what I had then. There's no point in me holding it hostage.

Its been a long time since I've written my love to you. I read your most recent post over and over and over again. The first time I read it I think I almost teared up. You were so open and honest. I felt ur heart as I read your words and that spoke volumes to me.

Blogspot has been a very safe place for us...a very special place for us. It has definitely gotten us through some of the worst times and garnished some of our great times. Blogspot was a life saver...when all I wanted to do was talk to you or read your words.

we said..

we would try to write a lot more...

and im up now at 6:00am and i dont feel well at all. i dont believe you're completely sleep, because when im not you usually arent. but anyways, i just figured out that i have so much bottled up inside me and nothing to say. thats depressing.